Musing of a lost girl

One lesson that I learnt over the past few weeks was to never run away from your problems. And that life is always about learning and that sometimes, it will throw you into a steep learning curve. 

Many times, I wonder if I'm really cut out for PR, work's been really overwhelming. I've been playing catch up since forever and I've been struggling to shout out for help. Due to pride? Due to my stubbornness? It's due to many reasons and I've learnt that if I don't shout for help, I'll just sink, and when I do, I'll pull the whole team down as well. 

My colleagues have been really helpful and they genuinely are concerned about my well-being, because I've been skipping meals, staying up late, waking up in the middle of the night, the list goes on. It doesn't help that I keep making mistakes as well. Sometimes, I really hate myself for it. People always say that things will get better in time, but four months into my very first full-time job, and I'm already thinking of raising the white flag. The stubborn bull in me refuse to believe that I'm not cut out for it though. Plus, it really won't reflect well in my résumé if I were to mention that I left my job only after three months. 

I've been really naive when it comes to working full time. The past few part time jobs were really simple and relatively no-brainer, thus it came as a rude awakening for me when stuff like taking leave/confirmation of job happens. 

I took a risk some time back to book my graduation trip to Australia with Rong and Huda without confirming my leave first (it's complicated cos I did with my immediate boss, but not with my senior manager) and basically I was told a couple of weeks back that I might have to cancel it cos they wouldn't be approving my leave. Imagine how shocked/helpless I felt when I heard it. 

It definitely wasn't anyone's fault but mine for this situation to happen. For one, I was too naive to think that everything would follow as what I'd planned. Secondly, I should have consulted someone/anyone on this first before making any decisions. 

This year have really been a steep learning curve for me, and the most expensive one thus far. Seems like there's an expensive lesson to learn every year. Last year was my face condition, this year, this. I do hope there wouldn't be any more expensive lesson to learn!! Eek. 

It certainly felt like the past few years I've been living in oblivion and I'm finally thrown into the real world.

The. Real. Working. World. 

Whatever it is, as what aun quoted,

"Tough times don't last, tough wo(men) do"

And I'm a tough women. So I can do this.

GO, FEE!